A Biology of Too Muchness: Healing and Becoming

Everything can feel too much sometimes.  Perhaps we have been betrayed, or lost a loved one or our source of income, perhaps meaning has gone missing or we simply don’t know why we feel that everything is too much. Now is the time to re-mind yourself that this too muchness is part of the healing process of all living beings.  It is an essential part of metabolizing experience in order to move on to more. Animals shake for minutes when they’ve witnessed horror, resetting their nervous systems in order to return to life. Humans tremble and run or immobilize. Being an alive biological being is not static.  It is an aliving, a becoming; and here you Are. 

So, stand your wobbly legs in warrior pose or lay your whole body on the Earth. Tremble, tears and all, numbness and all, and draw up energy from the earth and draw down energy from the sky. You, in your soft animal body, are feeling all the new and previous pains. You are sobbing and coughing out all the hurt, returning it to the Universe via your breath and tears. Your breath joins the atmosphere and your tears return to the seas, freeing space within your body to be filled up with fresh inspirations and flows of intention and purpose. This is the healing process. Cry. Cry out. And if perhaps you are struck tearless, dumb and numb, this too, is the process; your body’s indelible confirmation that you are at zero. You are Nothing, and infinite potential. Change is required; and Now is the time.

Know that you are in the process of Being Alive. Aliving. Becoming. These revisiting, sorrowful, seemingly unbearable pains are your guides.  Some are new. Perhaps, some you recognize, and you find yourself saying, here they are again, dammit. The difference is that now you are ready to learn what needs to be known by you. You can just barely bear what they bring, but you know what? You can.  And in integrating the unbearable in all its roughness and harsh honesty, you graduate yourself to what’s next. And you know profoundly that in this next chapter, you will stand against whatever and whoever, including yourself, acted in a way that caused those pains. Going forward, you will never condone such behavior. Or, you know that you will love like never before because you know deeply what being in love and being loved is.

In these times, we are toddlers again, aliving in the way humans do. Like toddlers, we rise on wobbly legs, intent on standing, then we stumble and plop back down to that place we were before on our hands and knees. But we look again at the cabinets and the shins of grown-ups surrounding us, we look at them differently now because our body has changed and grown, now cabinets and shins are handholds for standing up on our newly ready legs. We know that standing is the new height to which we must and can go. 

So we approach the cabinets or the shins and we grab on and we stand. And we wobble. The view from here is completely different and new. It needs to be evaluated and taken in and figured out. For a moment we consider sitting down again, returning to the old world of hands and knees, but we stay standing. We stand and we wobble, knowing that we will discover our way in this new world at this new height. 

This is the process of aliving. This is healing in real time. Trust it

©robinrosesaltonstall2018